I have been called to write this blog, after being inspired by something I saw on social media.
After I shared it with my followers, lots of people asked for tips on how to say 'No' so here I am today, sharing what I know today!
I believe this all starts with first recognising when you are saying 'Yes' and it doesn't feel good! People will feel this in different ways, maybe your gut is just off, or you feel annoyed with yourself immediately after agreeing to something. Maybe it is a delayed reaction for you, and you only feel annoyed or frustrated when the time comes to do the thing in question.
This is an invitation to get curious! Your body is telling you that something is wrong here.
Journaling on these feelings, and mediating have been good tools for me, So below I have noted some Journaling prompts to help you dig deeper, when you have say Yes to something you really don't want to do.
What feeling is coming up for me in this scenario?
Does this feeling serve me?
Are you able to say no in this situation?
If not, why / is there a compromise you can offer to help you to feel into the power being in your hands?
What is the worst thing that can happen?
Is the value of feeling happier, worth the fear of speaking your truth?
It can be helpful to get clear on who you are, your values and goals so you can always bring yourself back to these points when asking yourself these questions.
I would suggest the first few times you are feeling into saying No, that you buy yourself some time to think about what you truly want. Try using the below sentences;
With Friends regarding events;
"Thank you for the offer, I will get back to you"
Feel free to add on;
When I have had chance to think it over
When I have had chance to check my diary
When I have had chance to think about it, I am not sure it aligns with where I am right now and I want time to explore this
At work regarding workload;
"I understand the task, I need some time to review my diary before I can confirm I can handle this right now"
Feel free to add on;
I will let you know if I can do this job, or the support I may need to complete it by xx time.
Side note - There are different levels of this you can assert at work, and some other ways to approach communication. I recommend reaching out to @jennie.career.coaching for more support on Career subjects.
The more practise you get the more confident you will become in knowing what you want in the moments. This will mean you don't need as much time to review things and will be able to respond in the given moments! The pro level is not having to explain your decisions at all, but this is something even I am still working on!
What I do know, is the power of the feeling you get when you are only committing to things that you want to do, to what lights you up!
As you can imagine, after practising this for a while when you do say Yes to things, it holds a new level of confirmation - because you REALLY mean it! Its becomes a F*ck Yes energy! You are protecting your time and energy for things that you really want to do.
Feel free to support this work, with a morning Affirmation;
I am only available for things that light me up
Good Luck & Happy Journaling! Please feel free to comment below, or reach out to me on socials and let me know how this is working for you & if you need some support!
Love Hannah x
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