Sounds mystical and woo woo doesnt it! Something many would give a cheeky little eye roll too I am guessing ....... what is she on about now haha (If you know me personally you know I am a little crazy - I wouldn't have it any other way :))
So here I will admit whole heartedly that I am a total mystic now, but I actually want to bring some balance to this question today.
Over the last few years I have definitely questioned whether I am having a spiritual awakening, or whether I have already have many mini ones in my 20's. Searching for the answer in the google search bar and in many books that promise to help you 'connect to yourself'. So I hope that today this blog reaches someone who needs to hear my answer and experience.
And to give some background, wondering what a spiritual awakening was started well before I realised how much I love mysticism and magic. I think back to a time when I was walking through life without much self awareness, battling stress and the expectations society, family and I had set for myself. So to clarify .. you don't need to be a mystic or even on a spiritual journey yet to allow this story to land (well that's my intention anyway! let me know in the comments if I succeeded)
Lets go back in time :) I still remember as if it was yesterday the first time I think I may have been having some sort of spiritual awakening...
I was rushing around an outdoor shopping centre, heading from superdrug to the travel agents to buy holiday bits and to make a payment for a big holiday around America. I remember the EXACT moment I stopped and stood still on the spot - yes in broad daylight lol. I fully caught myself in the moment, I was rushing around 'getting my jobs done' but I was actually having an arguement with myself in my own head as I went from one shop to another.
See my feet were carrying me, and I was so used to carrying on and getting stuff done and being on time and being such a good girl ... that I was TOTALLY ignoring a huge feeling or some sort of knowing going on in me that absolutely knew that I was NOT going to go on this holiday...
I was really unhappy, deep down I just knew something had to change. And something inside of me was shouting louder than my thoughts. My thoughts were full of fears of cancelling the expensive, once in a life time kind of trip. Fears of speaking my truth and walking away from a relationship that wasn't serving me. Fears around people thinking I was mad, because from the outside they would question 'Is it really that bad?' and believe me, I didn't need anyone else to ask me that question - it kept me awake at night anyway!
See I had built a life that I thought I wanted, and in the words of Elizabeth Gilbert - I fully participated in every decision that got me to this point. From the outside or even with a little tick box list on the inside, it appeared to be what a 'good' life should look like.
Good Job TICK
House TICK
Nice Car TICK
Holidays TICK
...
Miserable AF TICK
See my thoughts wanted me to be OK with this reality, to convince me that I MUST be the problem. But something much stronger inside of me was fighting my corner, it wanted to tell me in that moment that I was onto something. That I needed to STOP, to feel, and to step into this fear. All the fears that my mind was trying to keep me safe from, trying to convince me to just stay. It was time to take my power back and do what I knew was right.
I think many people will be able to resonate with this experience. Maybe it reminds you of that time with a friend, a job, or a hobby where you where going along with something you didn't ACTUALLY want to do and you just burst one day.
THIS is what I believe a spiritual awakening to be. And sure depending on your life and your path some spiritual awakening experiences may be in other forms and to different depths, but the pillars remain for me;
Your Thoughts are Loud
You have a HUGE FEELING inside you can't ignore that doesn't make sense with the thoughts!
You have a moment where you NOTICE the thought and you DISASSOCIATE from it
In this moment, your Soul / Your Heart / Your True Self gets to step forward
You realise that you have been sleep walking through life letting your mind drive
You realise that YOU are not your MIND
You are the energy you carry in your heart, and you get to overcome the beliefs you have that DO NOT SERVE you
They don't serve the highest version of yourself that GETS to live a life that feels like you are ON PURPOSE
and from there, you being to dig deeper ....
You begin to take your power back, and you start to live more in alignment, you find more peace and acceptance
You see your thoughts for what they are and you chose to not allow them to control you.
So, to answer my own question I believe that I have had many spiritual awakenings. The moments where I am forced to listen to my heart and drop back the mind. The times that I realise my mind can't possibility hold all of the answers and that I have to FEEL my way through things (this part can be hard AF)
Some awakenings have been small, some huge, some pleasant and bring a smile, some heavy and bring the rage and tears as I try to fight them off. But one thing is for sure, now I recognise these awakening moments I am getting to know them better. I see them as a reminder in the times that I have fallen back asleep, I have fallen back into habits, I am walking on the treadmill of life but I am not moving forward - they remind me to come back to my heart and make the most of my life.
I hope this helps you to make sense of a spiritual awakening and helps to bring it into a relatable context. You have got this, take your power back, you are amazing.
Lots of Love H x
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